Procrastination Nation

So there’s this project I want to work on.  Well, let’s be real, there are a lot of projects I’m working on at the moment (I suddenly have a lot of time on my hands), but there’s this ONE, this AWESOME one…that I can’t seem to get started on.

It’s because it’s the one I’m the most excited about.  It’s the one that, if we can pull it off, will be amazing!  So COOL! So fun!  ACK!

And I’m so intimidated.  I just keep looking at it thinking “What if I fuck it up? What if I ruin this amazing opportunity?  What if I’m not good enough to actually do this?”

I’m keeping busy these days.  I’m working on stuff.  But, really, I should have gotten more done on this particular one.  It should have been a priority, because of it’s inherent awesomeness.  But I’m PSYCHING myself OUT!

I’ve felt this way about projects before.  And I know that eventually I’ll just do it and revise it and figure it all out as I go. 

I just really hate that fear of failure.  It’s …  it just irritates the crap out of me, and it’s the hardest thing to get past.  It’s monumentally difficult and I really just want to be past it now.  Right now.  This second.

I’m also trying to get myself back into working out regularly, so this has just basically been a banner week for not doing things that I know I should be doing.

BLAH.