A Nerdy Girl Talking about Geeky Things

Currently doomsday prepping. How are you?

redshiftsinger:

marisatomay:

“don’t eat honey because it exploits the bees and they can’t consent!!!” bees are literally unionized and will walk out if they don’t like being in the beekeeper’s hives

It’s true.

I worked with a beekeeper (not at beekeeping, guy had a day job as a machinist and kept bees as a side thing). One day there was a swarm in the parking lot and people were freaking out because, y'know, BEES EVERYWHERE. Beekeeper guy went to his truck. Pulled a swarm-catching box out. Put it on the ground and walked away.

Bees went in the box after a while. Guy put the box back in his truck and drove home with them.

You cannot prevent bees from leaving a hive they don’t like the conditions of, without also preventing them from being able to make honey. The latter is dependent on them being able to come and go as they please. If they don’t like their hive THEY WILL LEAVE.

Beekeeping is probably the single most non-exploitative animal agriculture in the entirety of human history. I don’t know how it’s even possible to exploit bees. They answer only to their queen.

(via pluckyyoungdonna)

gallusrostromegalus asked:

Hey while you're loving elephants: Denver Zoo has two teenage boy elephants and one Old Man Elephant named Groucho, and lately they've had the lads housed with him so he can teach them Proper Elephant Manners like how bulls raise teenage boy elephants in the wild. Bull elephants are apparently very into being parents but due to the matriarichal nature of most herds, they really only get to raise calves after they've hit puberty. My point is, one of the boys was being annoying and chasing rabbits so Groucho came up and jabbed him in the ass with a tusk, the lad ran around the enclosure crying then came back and did a lot of "I'm sorry I'll be good now dad" fawning and it was adorable.

gallusrostromegalus:

medusaceratops-deactivated20210:

OH MAN SEE SEE SEE i wish we knew so much more about how bull elephants interact with herds and families - we’ve documented bull elephants traveling to matriarchal herds and fake wrestling with male calves, and we’ve documented bulls protecting orphaned calves, but in god’s name i want every in and out about it. everything we know about elephant social interaction is not enough. it’s a Thing that introducing old bulls to a population lowers the amount of younger bulls in musth, also known as the state in which bull elephants desire nothing but murder and possibly sex, but - i want to know the precise mechanisms. old bull elephants teaching younger bulls manners renders me VERKLEMPT. i just wanna know every secret elephants have.

this is incredible though. peak teenage boy. groucho has his hands full and i fucking love him for that. get their asses, groucho.

So from what I understand, as remembered from nature programs and the zookeeper lecture, is that Old Bulls reduce the violence i young bulls by putting them through Elephant Finishing School.

This is better documented in African Elephants than asian ones because they’re easier for elephant biologists to observe by the means of ‘sitting on top of a jeep and taking notes’ but the general scope goes like this:

Elephant herds are largely matriarichal as both a means of protection- elephants have a long childhood and it’s easier to protect calves in a group, AND as a socio-political means of sexual choice.

An African elephant is pregnant for nearly two years, then she spends at least 3-5 years with that calf completely dependent on her, so she only gets a few opportunities to have babies before she hits menopause, and it’s a lot of damn work so she is naturally EXTREMELY picky about who she mates with. And if she’s younger, her mom, sisters and grandmothers will also be real picky about who she mates with and WHEN too- can’t go around risking a teenage pregnancy, especially not with asubstandard male. Elephants also have a pretty clear idea of what they want out of a Male too: they have a marked preference for Large, Old, Socially Adept Males. Large males are HEALTHY males with all thier bones in place and functioning digestive tracts. OLD males are healthy, have good intelligence to stay alive, and have good teeth. Socally Adept Males can make friends, get along with her whole family, won’t engage in dangerous behaviors like trying to kill her calves or grandmothers. It’s a good system that produces robust, intelligent and helpful calves.

This means however, that most female elephants are into Dilfs, or even Gilfs. Which is extremely frustrating when you are a horny teenage boy elephant, so they go a bit nuts with hormones and social isolation and get involved in teenage elephant gangs and do things like murder rhinos out of sexual and social frustration.

BUT! If there are Large, Old, Socially Adept males about, they like being parents too, but are largely pushed out of the role by the matriarichal herds and their strict group politics that exist to prevent unsuitable mating. So They turn thier attention to these violent orphans and like your beloved Batman go “I’m gonna parent the shit outta that.”

They mostly do this by herding the Lads around, pointedly demonstrating Behaviors like “How to dig for roots so you don’t starve” or “How to knock over a tree” or “Greeting a Matriach Properly so she doesn’t sic her descendants on you”, and disciplinary behaviors like “Jabbing naughty Lads in the ass with a tusk” and “Hitting you in the face with a branch until you STOP THAT” . This is WILDLY beneficial for the young males under thier tutelage, who are less likely to die of accidents, and start mating earlier because they’ve had a Suitable Gentleman make introductions for them, like they are fancy men at a regency-era ball being intoduced to the debutantes.

Imagine some Fine and Respectable DILF wandering around adopting teenage delinquents and spraying them in the face with a windex bottle full of vinegar until they learn how to be proper upstanding gentlemen and you’re getting close.

drunkenwillywonka:

professional-chaotic-dumbass:

popsun:

popsun:

I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you

Don’t do this to me

my brother in christ you made the post

This is the equivalent of slathering one’s self in molasses, rolling in bird seed and popcorn, then walking to the center of a pigeon flock hoping they won’t see you.

You are bringing the doom on yourself here.

(via jewishpangolin)

metroid-fusion:

visit-ba-sing-se:

visit-ba-sing-se:

love how this whole “new people coming to tumblr now” situation has exactly the vibe of strange showing up in the saloon of an old western town and stepping on the creaking floorboard

”Listen up, Stranger. Since you already stumbled in here, there is a few things you should know. First of all, this is a lawless land. There is no algorithm, and there are no ways to control which posts get traction. They do, or they don’t. Second, we do not do well with influencers here. You can try, but you won’t last long. They never do. Third, no one trusts a stranger who hides behind a default icon and only watches from afar. We have dealt with those before, and it did cost us. If you want to gain trust, talk to and support your fellas, and they will eventually return the favour. Finally, we like real fights in here. This is not a place of where you get unalived. This is a place where you die.”

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(via jewishpangolin)

sunshine-tattoo:

charlesoberonn:

cryptonature:

image

Vultures are holy creatures.

Tending the dead.

Bowing low.

Bared head.

Whispers to cold flesh,

“Your old name is not your king.

I rename you ‘Everything.’”

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fun fact!

Vultures are also responsible for keeping diseases at bay.

Vulture stomach acid is so powerful that it can kill anthrax and many other deadly diseases.

So when they consume the carcass of a creature that has died of disease, they actually destroy the disease within it too!

So yes vultures are 100% holy creatures because they not only eat the dead, but protect the living from death.

(via rosslynpaladin)

rosslynpaladin:

ampervadasz:

Oh, Margie… (Unmute !)

To understand the actual vast meaning of the level of grace humor and compassion that is in the Biblical phrase “ the good shepherd lookers after the sheep”

You really need to understand something about sheep.

Dumb as posts.

Big and heavy.

Will head butt your lower parts to within an inch of your life.

(via rosslynpaladin)

redarmyscreaming:

esrah-rah-rasputin:

deadpanwalking:

icedsilver:

gothiccharmschool:

typhoidmeri:

homunculus-argument:

[footage of the inside of an ordinary Eastern-European home, taken with a handheld phone camera, the man filming is walking from the living room to the back door of the house]

man, narrating in russian: Every fucking year, this time of the year, the pond at my backyard gets infested. What do ponds get infested with? Frogs? Poisonous weeds? Geese? No. Not my pond.

[The man opens the back door, stepping out into a garden. Three or four nude, human-like figures dash from the borders of a pond back into the water.]

man: Rusalki! I don’t know where they come from or how they get here, and I can’t afford to hire an exterminator every year. I can’t let my cat outside anymore. Last year a rusalka managed to drown a whole deer in my pond, the stench was unbearable.

[He walks as he speaks, approaching the pond. There are several eerily beautiful female beings peering at him from under the surface, their long hair floating in the murky water. Their eyes are gleaming in an unhuman way. The man holding the camera stops to film them.]

man, calm and deadpan: What the fuck are all of you staring at. Get jobs or something.

[One of the rusalki, smaller than the others and clearly not a fully matured adult, slowly reaches out of the water with her white, thin hand, grasping his ankle. He appears unconcerned.]

man: You can’t drown me, you little idiot. You’re too small. Shoo!

[A loud thud startles the rusalki, making them scatter. A second thud makes it clear these are the approaching footsteps of something massive. The man turns around and points the camera at what appears to be a house, walking past above the treeline with chicken-like legs]

man, now yelling: IF YOUR HOUSE SHITS ON MY YARD AGAIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-

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Originally posted by sketching-conclusions

This post is a joy and a delight.

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this is the energy

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A drawing of the man from original post. He is flipping off a house above him with chicken legs and a woman yelling at him from a window, while a rusalka stands nearly off screen, watching them

Okay I HAD to do this was just perfect

Baba Yaga

(via rosslynpaladin)

tearlessrain:
“tearlessrain:
“this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem
”
Rule #2
Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,
For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.
You may comment on...

tearlessrain:

tearlessrain:

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.


Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.


Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

(via ladimcbeth)